LeReality \\ MY Reality

2012-01-26T03:31:00.002+08:00

I had a lot on my mind before this evening.
I had much more to vent during the evening. My quitting temptation never felt any greater.
But thank you all tonight - Sky, Chi ♥, Chocy (and playing around with Force, JJ & Fumi helped my mood too hehe) and Jojo - for helping me to forget, to confide, to destress, to just have fun.

Somewhere along the way, 'fun' got lost in the game.

2012-01-18T21:15:00.002+08:00

I'm so not used to settling money issues on the dot. Even though I guss it's everything to some people. Lol. But it still irritates me.

Like it'd kill you ._.

Everybody's just looking for somebody to blame.

2012-01-13T03:19:00.003+08:00

I seriously don't see anyone at fault.
What I do see is a whole bunch of distorted facts, hypocrites, backstabbing, and trying-to-cure-all wannabes from everyone.

Sorry I'm still not taking sides. Neutral forever. I still love/hate everyone for all their strengths & weaknesses. =="

FML

2011-12-11T04:23:00.002+08:00

Notice how my life stopped since April?

Feels like CO part 2 right now. Where I made the most awesome bunch of friends and at the same time, lost a dozen of them. Where I wasted a year on some virtual shit, except this time I overdid it with real money. Where everyone's emotions have gone on a rollercoaster ride.

I told myself since my really good/bad experience from CO, that if a game was to affect my life, my behaviour, my mood, so much ever again...to just walk away.
But sometimes it's just hard to walk away from it all.

Makes me wonder where I would be now if I never started Aika.

2011-12-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

Trust no one but yourself.

2011-11-29T04:58:00.004+08:00

It's you.
The problem lies with you, not them.
Since 10 years ago, why haven't you changed a single bit Le?
Just because you don't know what you want doesn't mean you can play them on strings.
You just end up losing them and then you regret.

I lose.

No sincerity. No trust. No security.
You don't need such people in your life and you don't need to blame yourself Le.
=)

2011-11-25T15:40:00.002+08:00

Boys will talk to girls
and girls will talk to boys.

Somehow I'm glad I have her to talk to instead of all the flirtatious boys. =)

2011-10-13T05:38:00.000+08:00

The question is...
Do I like you enough to want to commit?

2011-10-05T20:05:00.001+08:00

I miss my kor/ex-bff so verily much. What it would take to bring back those moments.

2011-09-27T04:08:00.004+08:00

The second time I'm feeling disappointed tonight.
How bloody uncaring can you get?

I think the only thing we have in common is power, fame and money.

You really wonder why your (ex)gf backed away from you? Lol.

Just because I say I'm not tired doesn't mean I'm not tired.
Just because I survive on few hours of sleep mean I can continuously do it without complaining.
Just because I seem so slack doesn't mean my school workload is not heavy.
Just because I sacrifice my grades for you all mean you can expect me to always be there.
Just because I'm feeling upset and being quiet mean I don't want someone to care.
Just because you need someone mean you can abuse me as you like.
Just because I want to feel wanted mean you can abuse me as you like.

Honestly, it doesn't feel like home anymore.
Maybe it's a sign to start quitting for real.

2011-09-26T22:16:00.002+08:00

I haven't felt angry & disappointed in my parents since a long time.
I'm 22 this year, not 12.
I'm graduating this year. I won't be seeing my uni friends as often as I am now.
If you don't support me going for the World Choir Games in US then fine.
But why must you dash my hopes of going on a short trip to Korea, which mind you, Liz & I have been looking forward to going together since year 1.
It's not like I'm forcefully, willfully, insisting on going; it's that you already made up your mind to say 'no' even before I asked.

BEG Comeback

2011-09-25T16:52:00.004+08:00

MY GAWD! My girls are so so so so awesome; I just keep playing this video on repeat mode. Song is permanently stuck in my head. MEEOOOWWW~

And Ga-In's & Narsha's scream nearing the end! Like wtf o.o

How can anyone not love them?!

2011-09-20T06:18:00.003+08:00

There's a reason why I'm so hesitant; why I don't feel strongly; why I can't get committed; why I don't think this is ideal.
You think you are better, more thoughtful, more devoted...but truthfully, he easily beats you hands down. So don't make so much comments you overconfident asshole.
You don't know what I really want, what I really feel. Some things we think in harmony; some in total polar directions.
And why you keep entertaining girls I dislike I don't know. Jealousy much yes. But not in that sense. If any of my close friends were to do the same, I would feel the same. But then thankfully these close friends think the same way as me in these cases.

No strings attached I'm still looking for it. But where's the sensitivity?

Shagged max

2011-09-07T01:56:00.003+08:00

2-3 hours of daily sleep this entire week.
15 hours in school.
Yea I'm starting to feel that school has really started. Better late then never right?

And I think I got off on the right foot with my HRM project 'cos the girls are just hilarious.

I feel so poly-rejuvenated now. Amazing that I'm not dead on my bed yet with this serious deprivation of sleep.

2011-08-30T23:53:00.001+08:00

How you never fail to disappoint me again and again.
Your words are lies; you fickle-minded soul.

Maybe I'm starting to see why so many people dislike you.

When the truth is...

2011-08-27T22:34:00.002+08:00

that I'm freaking pampered.
that I take every step with caution.
that the warning(s) should have been given to you and not me.
that I don't really deserve this protection.
that you need it more than me.

that one day, karma will come onto me.

2011-08-22T04:54:00.002+08:00

Don't want any strings attached.
But I don't want any loose ends either.

I ain't no back up plan.

♥

2011-08-15T02:43:00.002+08:00

I love all my Aika darlings~ ♥
Best gaming friends I've made in a long long loooonnggg time!

Now let's put out all the fires and emo-ness pls =(

2011-06-20T01:52:00.002+08:00

Question. Did I become an arrogant bitch when I exiled over to Alstonia? Or did everyone just turn into egoistic assholes who think that they're better than each other??

2011-06-13T23:05:00.001+08:00

so much for trust?

That's it.

2011-06-10T19:00:00.003+08:00

I'm done trying to fuck myself over in order to please everyone around me.
If you guys can't let go of your pride, then nothing that I do or say will ever make any sense.
And if because I'm just trying to be neutral that you don't trust me anymore, I'll gladly leave.
Don't bother pulling me back with the reasons like you all need a cleric 'coz that's fucking stupid. I don't need to be a spare tyre.
I'll "beware" of my own friends thank you; I don't need outsiders telling me who to trust and who not to.
But then again the person I trusted in the most is currently being pulled like a puppet and not talking to me. LOL no?

So maybe I'll just leave both.

I'm confused.

2011-06-01T03:19:00.002+08:00

So the last time I tried to be a good girl friend, i either failed horribly or failed horribly x2.
That's how I lost a few GREAT guy friends btw.
And it always hurts to think of you.

So this time I decided to be simple and stay low profile.
Enough to stay out of trouble, but apparently not enough to still be in the outer circle of collision with it.

So far my decisions haven't been great. Thinking too much; what happened to act first, think later?

And I don't get it.
Is it normal for guys to talk about their gfs (I mean gush abt them, not complain) to other girls?
Does it happen all the time?
I don't get it from guys who are satisfied with their status; but I've been getting it quite often from some lately and frankly, it's rather annoying.
It's not like I'm best friends with your girls...neither am I your bestie so why would I want to know so much o.o
And it's not that I don't want to know how you guys are getting along but surely you guys don't have to update me every single day? Lol.
Yea just curious why people do such things.

P.S. the 2 of you are so alike that I don't know why you guys can't just be pals.

2011-05-24T22:44:00.003+08:00

I told myself before that if playing a game is fucking up my attitude and mood swings....to just quit and let it go.
What's the point of stressing myself out trying to please everyone around me?
What's the point of getting dumped on with so much rubbish problems when i'm not even involved?
What's the point in being a fucking spare tyre that will be there when you need me then throw me away just as easily?
No one gives a real shit about me anyway.

2011-05-24T16:27:00.002+08:00

What will it take to get back the days of my primary childhood or poly school days?

2011-05-23T19:37:00.000+08:00

The spare tyre that everyone likes but never loves.

2011-04-24T19:08:00.002+08:00

It takes two to clap.
It takes two to hold hands.
It takes two to build an everlasting relationship.

So I'm grateful for those who hang on to me tight without ever letting me forget about their existence; for those who make the effort to continue our friendship despite how irritated or bitchy or arrogant I get.

You know who you are.

2011-04-15T22:16:00.003+08:00

Random, since I saw this on the news.

Aye I knew Cynthia was quite a popular (and so far, the prettiest one I've seen yet) gamer girl...never knew she was part of PMS though. Met her from my first game Elancia, but not particularly close to her.

Now who said gamers were nerds?

P.S. the terms you all love to use so much (best example, 'gg') originated from gamers please. I hated it when ignorant people threw it around in their sentences like they started the trend (last time).

2011-04-09T00:07:00.004+08:00

Feeling lost and anti and bff-less.

This is what happens when you don't eat chocolate (or sweets) for too long a period.

This is also what happens when I start gaming again.

It's an unhealthy obsession for me and yet I still still go back to it every single time. Like a drug I can't stay away from.

And random: I haven't shopped (offline nor online) for 4 whole months. I'm so proud of myself.

why do i always try so hard for people who end up leaving me anyway?
and yet why do i keep pushing those who love me away?

e乐人气男歌手黃鴻升

2011-04-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

玩具枪与玫瑰

"他本人说了，他不是唱错！他是有做改编！"

SORRY BABY, but I still think you sang wrongly during the first chorus lol.
Edit: Ohh. 改编个屁啦！ Lol damn cute lah he.

得奖感言

复制人

Love it that every time he performs he'll look out for our 鬼迷心窍 family ♥~
And we were all everywhere that day! Left right behind and on top lol.

I definitely want to go 送机 one day... the fans are more-or-less quite obedient as compared to the first time when I went to the airport. And he signed all the fans' ticket stubs while waiting to go in lah!!
Ok I take it back, 小鬼 please come again during my holidays and not every time during my deadline period =(

新加坡e乐大赏 2011

2011-04-03T03:17:00.004+08:00

Took a long time to decide whether to head for this year's eawards after last year's flop, but now that it's over, I don't feel so bad about it. Had my share of screaming and fun =D

And from now on I'm just gonna bring my dslr to concerts 'cos I see LOADS of people using theirs. Don't know whether they managed to successfully sneak them in or the bag-check people just don't care...I think the latter since I see people carrying lens that could be spotted from far away. Not that my Canon digital sucks, I still love its zoom + flash. Works pretty well for just an outdated 8.0 megapix. But I'm too lazy to have to photoshop the photos when I get back home to make them look better. And I'll choose a faster shutter speed anytime!

Anyway, a bit of photo spam. Too lazy to post everything up so I'll just choose the more interesting artistes.

Got there at exactly 7pm since they don't start on time anyway. Huiyi & I were sitting super near the FC admin people so they gave us the usual heart balloons. Don't understand why can't the FC JUST SIT TOGETHER!? We were all spread out left and right, doesn't really give off the feeling of a cohesive FC huh? (sorry, too much OB theories from this afternoon's meeting)

The stage configuration was quite awesome 'cos we got to be much nearer to the artistes (aka 小鬼), plus if it weren't for that stupid fat security guy I would have just jumped over the railing in front of me and rape 小鬼 when he entered.

黄靖伦, Namcha, 何维健

Hubby

Se7en

Ella

This year had all the good voices, except Lollipop F, not a big fan. And I admit 小鬼's 玩具枪与玫瑰 wasn't up to standard either, but he made up for it in 复制人.

黄靖伦's performance

宝贝ness lol

何维健... I think 90% of the females were all shrieking in envy when he took a girl upstage, held her hand during the entire song, did a little dance with her, put her hand on his chest, and then kissed her hand.
Oh well, STILL DOESN'T BEAT WHAT TAEYANG DID.

Ella receiving awards...loads and loads of awards for herself, S.H.E and Hebe

倪安东 - awesome awesome awesome live

Lollipop F - xiaoyu's mic failed on him halfway through

Our pride and joy upgraded from e乐人气海外新人 last year to e乐人气男歌手 this year! Love him much much ♥~ Pity I didn't get good pictures of him this time round 'cos I was REALLY spazzing my heart out, screaming and jumping around like a crazy fangirl. I've decided, if I had to keep one husband I'll kick KHJ to the kurbs HAHA.

And as usual, he was kept as one of the last few performers 'cos HE IS SO AWESOME. Loudest cheers for him, Se7en and Ella! When he started performing, Huiyi & I then noticed all the 鬼 banners popping out everywhere in the stadium ♥~

Another pic I managed to salvage among my spasming
Oh and he was the only performer I heard people shouting encore for ;)

Followed by Kit Chan who sang a medley of songs. You know you are old when you see the youngsters around you taking out their handphones to play with bored looks on their faces while you are appreciating the music =(

Se7en... not a fan but I'll support any YG artiste anytime just because.

Lastly, SIGMA sang their 师姐's song...S.H.E's fc won the best online fc and they sang 魔力 together with Ella.

That's that.
oh and HELLO MISTER HUANG HONG SHENG. DON'T COME BACK ANYMORE TILL YOU RELEASE YOUR NEXT ALBUM PLEASE. -_-"
unless you give us free performances.

Gaming manners

2011-04-01T14:00:00.003+08:00

I participated in a cbt yesterday after going on a gaming hiatus for about 2 years (excluding the short period I went to try out Kitsu Saga alone) and I realized just how much the gaming community has changed. Maybe it's just the game itself, or maybe everyone thinks that they're a pro 'cos they shifted from the global server to SEA's... but that still doesn't make up for the lack of manners everyone's been showing.

I first started my gaming history in Elancia - one of my most likeable and treasured gaming experience. Everyone was kinda bonded in some way, like we all knew each other. I don't remember how I got myself involved with the 'popular' clique in there but they were super helpful and friendly. A passing by 'hello' while I was training somewhere, a helping hand in leveling, etc. In fact, the only guy who made a bad impression on me was an asshole who still landed up on my msn list after the server went down haha.

Even in Conquer Online - or at least the initial first year - players were superbly friendly (and yet at the same time, competitive). My first friend was a higher level dude who plvled me for fun. And as I got to know more people, they were awesome as well.

World of Warcraft, needless to say, is about joining the right guild. But then I've also met people along the way who gave me buffs for free, healed my ass while I was fighting off something, raided and ended up as friends... etc.

Fast forward 10 years and it's all:

"Cast haste on me"
Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thanks'? I don't even know you and shit, I don't even have the skill yet. It's a much higher level skill ffs.

Then I happened to come across this player who had a dozen mobs chasing him. So naturally as what any observant Cleric would do, I healed him and aggro-ed some on my side. Do I get a 'thank you'?? NOOOOO. He ended up pulling a dozen mobs to us each time we're done. WTF. 1) I was about done with my own quest. 2) I could handle my ass alone, I didn't need him. 3) He didn't even speak a single word to me throughout the entire time I kept saving his ass. I should have just walked off leaving him to fend off his dozen lovable creatures huh?

And every time players randomly teamed up together to get a quest done, I always see people just leaving/disbanding immediately after it's done. Some say 'thx' but majority don't care. In fact, I'm the only one leaving smilies around so far.

It's just such a cold environment. Or maybe that's just SEA's way, afterall I've always been more on international servers. But then I've always been around my fellow Singaporeans in every game so what's the big difference?
Gender issue? 'Cos they don't know I'm a girl? I don't see it that way too considering my Conquer Online mates didn't believe I was a girl (like honestly, especially one of my 'kor' of dunno how many years had his doubts till he saw my profile on FB) and I never really revealed my gender till I was friends with someone.

A good game always gets spoiled by a bad community. I had my own first-hand experience with that in CO.

Or maybe I'm just being old and naggy. =(

2011-03-31T12:47:00.002+08:00

why is that every time I do projects with her/them, it always turns out to be a big mess?

edit:
okay let me be very frank. i DISLIKE all my project groups this sem. i don't feel a single bit bonded with ANY of them. i may have whined a lot in the past few semesters about my groups but now that i think of it, i CAN SO APPRECIATE THEM. this sem is full of fucktards. and it's like everything i say doesn't count. what am i? non-existent? fuck you all.

like people who think they're so right that they can look down on me, and even mock at me.
like people who makes me do 'charity' work. i rather do REAL charity work pls.
like people who says "do this and this and this ok?" and when i replied "wah you think i very free hor?" they go "ya you are."

I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO FUCKING GRADUATE. I don't even care whether it's with a gpa of 2.0/5 I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS STUPID SELFISH HOLED-UP COMMUNITY.

2011-03-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

Omg can everyone just fuck off?
It won't kill you to sit around alone for 2 hours or so.
What are you guys? Babies? Secondary school kids who need to go everywhere together?
Just because it's not YOUR exam, not YOUR precious time, doesn't mean that you can dictate what I do with my time.
Don't use me as a time-killer.

RANDOM LOOT

2011-03-28T02:39:00.002+08:00

And so this is part 3 of my loot series! =D
Yea I kinda went on a crazy spree after CNY with my ang bao money.

Ran around today to meet up with 3 different people. 2 at BISHAN mygawd. That place was so foreign to me I kept having to ask them for directions.

Anyway, first up.
Arashi 'Lotus' shop photos! Missing one though 'cos the supplier couldn't get her hands on it yet...

Got my photos from Xin Ying this time round. And once again I swear the Arashi/JE community fans are the most friendly people I've ever met. No others can compare. Cpop sellers, on the other hand, are the most cocky people I've ever seen. -_-"

Finally collected mine & Jo's 罗志祥 albums too. They're SO HEAVY. And I had to carry them while walking back into my house 'cos my family was all out! Didn't help that today's weather was so damn humid too.

The rose aroma is mad strong. You can smell it even before opening the damn box. And I really dislike his photos on this one... I'm sorry but they just look photoshopped ttm. Plus having the whole rose petal concept on every single cover is not helping my eyes either. Haven't listened to the whole album yet but I've only found the few that I've heard average only.

On a side note, 小鬼 BEAT 小猪 AND 萧敬腾 TO THE E乐人气男歌手 AWARD!!! Awesome SAS fc ♥
Now to hope for BIGBANG's win in the kpop category too (and then they come as a surprise guest! ok i'm just dreaming..) =D

And what I ordered from another site...

1. GTOP album: SERIOUSLY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. First I get Seungri's family card in the 4th mini album, and now I get PINK out of 5 colours. How is this even possible?! I'm so not fated with BIGBANG pls.

Bah okay then who am I to complain. At least it's not the silver or gold which doesn't stand out at all.

The poster's this one.
Am still deciding what to do with all my new posters.

2. KHJ in Spain photobook: Worth drooling over. that's all I can say. ♥~
Will post up scans when I'm free....

Oh oh and they managed to get me the first press version with the YG family card for the GTOP album too! I thought it was already sold out.

So pretty right? XD

Should still have one last batch of stuff coming but don't know when. Will be a long long long time till I order the next round of stuff. Shouldn't be too fast anyway since all my idols already released their albums. (Except BIGBANG. What 4.5 album and what solos! Just kill us already.)

And I've found a new love in CNBLUE. I kinda liked them before but now I think they're awesome.

ALRIGHT. NEED to do my case study and tutorials before I die later. I can't believe I played FFXIII in the afternoon and went for a bbq at night WHEN I HAVE AN EXAM on tuesday. I have absolutely no sense of urgency.

'Tween Dusk and Dreams part 3

2011-03-27T03:03:00.004+08:00

Looks like we all just can't get enough of the choir/VV fever eh?

Don't even know why I so willingly volunteered myself for another gig this week when I've been complaining so much about prac sessions the entire 2 semesters.

*shrugs*

Anyway, photo spam.

My lovely sop family looking gorgeous in our holding room just before the concert started.

Not forgetting my Kalinda family - our 2 awesome juniors aka incoming Prez and med student!

And of course my crazy choir bestie and fellow-Cassian Liz... and your freaking messy table! HAHA. love you much much! Gonna miss our meeting-for-dinners, draggy footsteps to the dance studio, whinings, fangirling and everything! Stuff like that makes me want to go back for another year of ~~torture~~ ~~fun~~ craziness with you.

Plus quirky Soph aka outgoing secretary. I don't think I would have had as much fun as I did in choir without the both of you ♥~

Ending off with our program booklet photo! Sop love!

~~K this is gonna be the last of the whole choir-series post.~~
(Just realized the hired photographer hasn't given us our choir photos yet so I still wanna upload one more post of the entire choir tgt!)

Time to get down to the other 1/3 of my NUS life - the books and studying.

'Tween Dusk and Dreams part 2

2011-03-23T23:31:00.005+08:00

...running up and down between backstage and dressing rooms, Nelson's death stare to the instrumentalists when they played something wrong, Nelson's wink to us before the first song, magical Spheres and Tween Dusk and Dreams, emcee being always right coz he's standing on the right, roses and broccoli, and classical moments like:

After choir morphed into next formation, Nelson looks around choir on his right.
*Mich nudges Gab on the other side* "I think he's looking for you."
Gab: "I'm here!"
Nelson: "Ohhh there you are! I was wondering how come there's no fat person on the right!"

- Juat

and all the awesome awesome comments and love on FB right now.
No wonder our seniors find it so difficult to move on from the NUSChoir family.

On a random side note, this was posted by my wonderful OB tutor:
"wonders why i make my students read a 35-page case, coz i have to read it too! arghz. haha"
tskk.

'Tween Dusk and Dreams

2011-03-22T03:19:00.004+08:00

I think it hasn't fully hit me yet. But that was officially my last day of choir.
.
.
.
.
.
unless I decide to go back for another year.

Still. Even if I do... I won't be seeing half of them faces anymore.
The faces I see more often than I do with my uni clique.
The faces I see more than 6 hours a week. (sometimes it feels like more)

The people I've been with for 2 years.
The people I've sung with and laughed with for 2 years.

The stage that I've missed so much during my sec-uni transition.
The music, the harmonies, the feelings.

The family which I feel more at home to than any other in NUS.

I'm the kind of person who kinds it hard to let go.
Just like how it took me forever to let go of my poly days.

And so this song came to mind.

My favorite song out of VV11.

The song we sang that made Nelson think of the Japan tsunami victims.
The song that we put in all our emotions.
The song we sang on VV night that made a lot of us want to cry.

Where rainbows bow and willows weep
Where sunlight glows and moon beams creep
Where shooting stars embrace the sea
'Tween dusk and dreams, you wait for me

We sat within a field of green, staring at the peaceful scene
Stretching far as we could see, were flowers blooming bright and free
On glowing sand kissed by the sun, your warmth was there for everyone

As sunlight cast its parting glow
Sinking 'neath waves, we watched it go
We watched it go

We sat beneath wise autumn's oak
Caressed the bark with tender stroke
As colours changed
And leaves, they fell
We said a silent last farewell

(A last farewell)
Where rainbows bow and willows weep
(And willows weep)
Where sunlight glows and moon beams creep
(And moon beams creep)
Where shooting stars embrace the sea
('Tween flowers bloom, you wait for me)
'Tween flowers bloom and darkest gloom
'Tween ocean's flow and sunlight glow
(You wait for me)
'Tween colours changes and oaks leave fall
You wait for me, you wait for me!

We sat amidst the snow's descent
Like white rain from the heaven's sent
Breadth condensed before your face
I held you in our last embrace
We gazed up at the somber sky
With quiet calm you then reply

Though in spring you'll begin anew
In the next world I wait for you
I wait for you

Where rainbows bow and willows weep
Where sunlight glows and moon beams creep
Where shooting stars embrace the sea
'Tween dusk and dreams, you wait for me

'Tween love and loss, you wait for me
You wait for me...

2011-03-22T01:22:00.002+08:00

OMYGOD.

MEGA PISSED OFF TTM.

Why can't guys just suck in their pride and admit to their own mistakes?

Why must they make aaallllll sorts of excuses and push the blame to whoever they can push the blame to?

Honestly not the way I thought I would spend my post-VV day.
I wish I didn't have all this technology so I won't have to get so worked up over all this bullshit.

Emotional Ride

2011-03-20T03:05:00.003+08:00

I feel...

Excited because VV is finally here again. (well, it goes both ways. because it's finally here and because it's finally gonna end.)

Nervous because I think I'm just gonna screw up my choreo tomorrow when I'm in the 1st row -_-" (doesn't help that I still can't memorize Kruhay properly)

Apprehensive because it's UCC and we all know how bad the acoustics are there.

Grateful for all the people coming to support me. You know who you are. ♥

Annoyed that a lot of these people haven't paid me yet. I'm broke.

Guilty because I don't know whether some people are going just for the sake of it or because they really want to see me. Get things right, I didn't force anyone to go. Please don't feel pressurized to say yes or to explain why you're not coming =\

Disappointed that none of my uni friends are coming again even though they always say they might.

Relieved that choir practices will be ending in exactly 42 hours.

Panicked because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.

Stressed because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.

Horrified because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.

Anxious because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.

Despaired because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.
FUCK FUCK.
Fucked because I have a Finance quiz on Mon and I haven't started.

yea you get the point.

Option A: Quit blabbering and sleep now to get sufficient rest for the long day tomorrow, and maybe catch up on some studying when I get back home.

Option B: Quit blabbering and cram as much finance into my head as possible and just completely die tomorrow.

Option C: Email my tutor to postpone my quiz-taking.

Option D: Screw the quiz.

We all know whatever happens it's gonna end up somewhere along option D.

Aye and the moon is super mega huge tonight. I wanted to be an idiot and ask my family if that was the sun instead.

ARASHI LOOT

2011-03-19T02:43:00.004+08:00

Heh heh I'm on a roll!

Well okay not really, these stuff were from their concerts months ago but I only met Lala this evening to collect the rest of 'em.

Still feels good to see them all together! Except the group poster which I couldn't be bother to take out for fear of ruining it. It's so pretty ♥~

Concert Pamphlet + Group poster - Lala
Group + Jun mini uchiwa - Lala
Group + Jun photosets - Lala
Sho photoset - ksells
Handphone strap - ksells
Kokuritsu + Osaka + Fukuoka pinbadges - Lala
Tokyo pinbadge - ksells
Hitachi (Jun) pamphlet - Lala

I love getting my endorphins from Ksells whenever she does a preorder (which is not very often). She's the cheapest seller I've seen so far... j-shop photos for only $3-$3.20. Maybe it's 'cos I usually buy more and often. And as I've mentioned before, she's superbly friendly. I got her to help me get some Arashi photos when she went to Japan even though she only opened orders for concert goodies.

And Lala, love you babe &hearts! She's always giving her buyers free goodies (usually photos) and this time round she got me the 2 mini uchiwas (which sells for $10 each mind you)! Plus she threw in the hitachi pamphlet w/ Jun on the cover too. (She memorized who's my bias already lol) And the sweet dear said she ordered another pamphlet or something for me =D

Yea alright besides that, guess what landed into my mail box yesterday? XD

2 YUI singles (the only Jap artist who I've collected every single or album)
KHJ in Spain DVD (my k-husband ftw)
Postman to Heaven (hmmmmmmm.....)
Posters (heh heh)

Don't understand why people complain about yesasia, I think their shipping/waiting time is perfectly reasonable. It helps that there's free shipping for most of the stuff...probably covered by their overpriced stuff.

I honestly dumped A LOT of items into my shopping cart 'cos I convinced my mom to pay for it as my belated Christmas present but then guilt took over and so I reduced to this amount. (It was either pay for this, or pay for my Jolin concert ticket. HAHA. Obviously she chose the cheaper alternative.)

I'll save what's inside that poster tube for later..after I decide what to do with it. So exciting.

Anyway!
Went swimming with my bro, QL & WX today since there's no badminton this week. Swam 10 lengths yipee my record! (Does that make it 5 laps? or 10 laps?) Feel like adding swimming into my weekly schedule now =x

And I think my bro and I are the most awesome siblings ever. I mean, I don't know anyone else who knows each others' friends like we do. And he/QL never treats me as a light bulb. Plus I finally told him I disliked ______g because she's cocky (and kinda bitchy, but I didn't say that) and he agreed that she's got an attitude problem. AND being close helps fight against my mom's exasperation at us sometimes. Teehee.

Argh ok. I got about 24 hours left to finish 6 chapters of Finance and memorize Kruhay. FML.

Time

2011-03-15T03:48:00.003+08:00

How is it that time has flown by just like that?

Every time I see dates, I keep thinking it's still 2010. Oh heck, I often write 2010 instead of 2011.

Every time I look back, it feels like poly years just ended. Where did these 2 years disappear to? I don't feel that much of a senior.

Every time I browse through my photos, I'm always surprised by the number of months and years that have gone by. (on a side note, every time I need to access anything on my laptop, my hand automatically clicks on the NUS folder instead -_-")

Every time I see a birthday cake, the candle count just keeps growing. Isn't it depressing? I feel like a 18-year-old stuck in a body of 22. I still feel like the maknae among my peers in uni even though they're 1-2 years younger than me.

It feels like I just entered the university, and yet I'm already going to be a graduate in a few more months' time.

Meh I don't know why I'm emo-ing at this unearthly hour when I still have a tutorial to complete and a 9am class to attend.. but I just suddenly felt the urge to post this.

BIGBANG LOOT

2011-03-13T04:18:00.005+08:00

Hectic day today. Slept at godknowswhattime and woke up at 9am+ just to be late for choir by 20 minutes. Sigh. Anyway the open house performance was crap 'cos of all the noise and we all couldn't hear each other at all =(
Then Joan, Liz & I went shopping for conductors' gifts. Lol. I think we spent more time traveling/eating than picking out the chocs =X

Not the main point anyway.

The important thing is...

I COLLECTED MY BIGBANG MINI ALBUM AND GTOP PHOTOBOOK TODAY!!!

Lol it was quite lame 'cos one of the peeps (they're friendly VIPs I like them ^^) asked me who was my bias and I said GD. (Technically.. I like Taeyang and GD but on-the-spot ask me this kind of thing I just anyhow choose lor?) But in the end the album he 'chose' for me came with a Seungri YG family card. DARNIT. Out of 5, what are the chances man. All I'm asking for is a 3 out of 5 chance (GD, Ty or TOP).

They even gave those extra printed photos along with the stuff =)

So I was freaking lugging the entire bag of chocolates + my choir costume + these 2 albums + 2 posters from Novena to Orchard to Vivo. The GTOP photobook is MAD HEAVY OKAY. Even until now my fingers still feel sore =\

This is the poster that came with Play with GD & TOP:

I stuck it on top of my 小鬼 poster ♥~

And this is the poster that came with the mini album, which I haven't pasted up on my wall yet 'cos I don't have enough sticky tape. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. One of their better posters yet. But the worst thing is 'cos I carried it all day to & fro that the edges are a bit worn out already.. PLUS I FREAKING ACCIDENTALLY STEPPED ON IT JUST NOW. SIGH.

Anyway, I'm exhausted after coming back late from QL/QE's place but then I got so excited over opening the albums XD

One of my favourite CD covers yet. 'Cos it has a very pretty shade of blue ♥~

And from the GTOP DVD/photobook...
I went all 'wahhh' after I opened the cover 'cos... ta-dah!

Messages from GD & TOP on the back of the cover.

TOP's

GD's

And the actual thing.

The top one is the photobook, bottom contains the 2 DVDs. Pretty much seen most of the pictures online already but stillll.... WORTH EVERY SINGLE CENT. (and worth the heaviness of it zzzz)

Shall resist watching it till I'm done with AIS project. =S

I dropped by Kino too today since they're having 20% member discount again.
AND I COULDN'T RESIST.

I swear I wasn't gonna buy the GOTP magazine but then I saw CNBLUE, IU and Brown Eyed Girls so...wtf.

And anything with Azunyan on it immediately demands my attention so... (i mean, look! she's so super cute i don't care whether you say it's 2d)
Also helps that Yuki Kajiura was featured inside =D
and that it came with a pretty K-ON! file

AND NOW I'M BROKE. AGAIN.
So much for saving up for Taiwan/Japan/Korea trip.
Also bought a sexpensive Swarovski strawberry for QE's 21st..very pretty but I forgot to take photo of it.

hope i get to go Korea w/ Sherlyn in June/July!

2011-03-12T02:37:00.002+08:00

don't understand how people can blatantly reply people on facebook/twitter and not reply my smses/emails. if you want to be like that, at least don't let me see you on facebook/twitter lah? then you can use the excuse 'oh i was busy' or something. -_-"

Proud of Kwon leader

2011-03-11T06:11:00.003+08:00

Because my idols are people like this (and this)
that's why they are my idols.

2011-03-03T16:01:00.004+08:00

I'm not a crazy whacked fangirl... but I honestly think that if Arashi or BIGBANG were to ever come to Singapore for concert, I'll be crying in joy during the concert.

Back to school

2011-03-01T03:40:00.001+08:00

during FIN lecture

Lecturer: Now I wanna spend some time talking about the quiz.......
Students: *groans*
Lecturer: I realized my classes did quite poorly! so depressing after I marked the papers you know.. I was surprised to see people leaving questions blank!
Me: *buries head*
Lecturer: Was it that difficult? I thought it was quite easy... If I do it I can complete it in 10 minutes!
Students: *rolls eyes* OF COURSE LAH he's the lecturer what.
Lecturer: No no really... of course I mean without looking at the answers lah. If look at the answers 1 minute can complete already.
Students: *totally whatever*

Then blah blah, that's when I realized the other classes' quizzes were apparently much better than ours (the lecturer's) wtf -_-"

during FIN tutorial

Lecturer: *giving back our papers* The highest for this class is 9 marks! Lowest is... 1 mark.
.
.
Lecturer: Leanne?
Me: *smiles cheekily & goes up to take my paper* heh heh.....
Lecturer: *knowing smile & semi-rolls my paper facing downwards before passing it to me so that others can't see*

OBVIOUSLY I was the one with 1 mark. LOL hello I submitted only 3 stupid answers (out of 10) which I don't even know how I got them. Think that day I just anyhow plugged in the numbers into my financial calculator (WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE. SUPER-FAIL.)

sigh.

but then I was depressed enough after doing the quiz that day already so I feel completely fine now. Anyway he's a super kind soul 'coz he's letting us re-do the paper, but this time with full workings. Then he'll average out the new score with the old. Yay, better than ~~nothing~~ 1 mark.

And I can't believe I spent both my lunch and dinner time doing readings today. Hard-fuck-working. But I still have so much backlog from recess week to clear.

Was literally falling asleep during choir today so I messed up all my notes lyrics choreo. Don't know how to survive again later from 9am to 10pm UGHHHHH.

2011-02-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

lol don't try to act like you know them when you don't.

Eyecandy miss

2011-02-23T16:34:00.002+08:00

Went to IMM for dinner with my mom last night. We saw this big group of people walking out to the carpark as we were walking in... didn't really take much notice except that the front police/security guy was like shoo-ing people away by waving his hand (ok technically now that I think about it, he was waving ME away). So I wondered what was the big deal..and glanced up to see this tall young guy in purple shirt x black blazor in the middle, with a couple of escorts and other tall females behind him.

It was just a really quick glance 'cos he was also staring at me and I don't like making direct eye contact with strangers so I immediately looked away. But I walked away finding him very very verrrry familiar......

Then after dinner, I fucking saw a poster of 幸福最晴天. Apparently the cast came to IMM that evening for fan meet or something. -_-"
O.M.G. I WALKED PAST 賀軍翔 WITHOUT SMILING OR WAVING OR FANGIRL-ING OR EVEN RECOGNIZING HIM I SUCK TO THE MAX.

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH. SERIOUSLY LEANNE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

Was like superrrr depressed after that.
And my mom was all like "huh you like him and you didn't even recognize him?" / "he must be wondering why this young girl don't know him" / "or wondering whether he's so unpopular meh"
....ultra depressed.

What I want

2011-02-19T01:01:00.003+08:00

A lot of questions keep popping up recently, in the line with what do I want to do in future. And I honestly don't know. I don't know why I took tourism in poly. I don't know why I came to business in NUS. I don't know why I'm majoring in management.

Or maybe I do.

Because tourism sounded new and exciting when I was 16+ years old. Because business runs in my family's blood. Because NTU was further than NUS. Because operations is boring and I don't think I can make it in marketing.

Yeah sure. All my half-assed answers.

My mom keeps saying to go out to work to gain experience when I graduate. My brother/dad says to go to the office. While my effed-up school encourages everybody to work in some big-ass firm.

What a joke. Don't I get my say?

What if what I want to do is maybe polish up my photography and work as a pro-photographer? What if what I want is to become a plain administrator? What if what I want to do is something related to music, or anime? What if I want to travel the world and work part-time jobs? What if what I want is to join a professional choir?

Then again, that's also just my own selfishness right?
Then again, my brother didn't get much of a decision either did he?
Then again, more than half of you are already envying me while I'm making all these stupid complaints right?

Then again,
a lot of us are in the same drifting lost boat.

---

Bro: Study what study? I don't see you studying. I see you going out EVERY weekend!

Yea despite my oh so determined resolution, I think I keep getting worse, and worse, and then worst.
What am I to do with you Le?

2011-02-13T19:26:00.003+08:00

oh FUCK i've had enough. what am i? your fucking punch bag 'cos i tolerate you so well?
you think you could have mentioned this bit of information like, A LITTLE BIT EARLIER. or maybe you thought it was not important enough so you just kept your mouth shut. i mean like. what. that's totally what friends are for right? not telling each other useful stuff. *rolls eyes*

2011-02-13T01:13:00.002+08:00

1. Despite my determined new year resolutions... I've been havoc-ing the most this semester so far. -_-" wtf i really hate myself.

2. so much disappointment in something that may seem so insignificant to you but is very important to me.

3. Don't understand why I can't get along with my __ even after 2 years in _____. I mean, I'm like perfectly fine with everyone else except him!?

4. I remember someone complaining before about how a certain smart A keeps pestering stupid B. So how come you're A and I'm B now? I feel SO USED. it's like i'm your ___ because i can ________ ___ the most and i'm also the stupidest.

oh fuck it. i should just get a private blog this censoring is so sick but i don't have anywhere else to vent on.

2011-02-07T21:24:00.003+08:00

What I hate: last minute back-outs

What I hate THE MOST: knowing that I want something, saying that we'll get it / do it / go for it together, and then going with someone else instead.

Just goes to show how insignificant I really am in a lot of people's eyes.

2011-02-07T15:39:00.001+08:00

cross my fingers and bite my tongue.

i'm sorry and thank you.

Happy CNY

2011-02-05T01:53:00.003+08:00

Cousin: (to his youngest, Cassia)...ask uncle to play with you..
Me: Hahaha UNCLE *laughs at my bro*
Brother: *glares at me*
Cousin: You don't laugh, you also aunty already!
Me: ........
Me: (to Cassia) not aunty, call me 姐姐 ok?
and she ignored me.

WO NANG MAX PLS!

Pfft I feel so old =(
Can't believe I watched both Germaine & Cassia grow up from crying babies to the pretty small girls they are now.
Ok lah, still got hope. At least they haven't really called me aunty yet...i think.

Waking up

2011-01-26T23:04:00.003+08:00

Okok NEW new year resolutions.
Have been doing fine by the ones I made so far. Not the best model student, but better than I was before. Melvin saw me coming out from the library today and couldn't believe his eyes. "WAH WAH WAH! This is my FIRST time seeing you here.... why are you here!!?"
Yea I know I sat in the library thinking what the hell too.

ANYWAY,
yes new resolutions.

So life isn't all about fantasy and idols.

I've stopped gaming since last year hooray. At least I now have that dead-set control within me that knows I can't start 'cos I won't stop.

I haven't watched a single episode of anime since last year September/October (ok except 2 episodes of Bleach). Amazing right? It's almost like who are you and what have you done to leanne?

I didn't pre-order a single figurine since... well since I realized how broke it was making me go. Paying for 3 figurines per month KILLS my bank. In fact, my bank is more-or-less in hospital surviving on an oxygen tank right now. I figured I can't order anything if I don't know anything, so I stopped browsing through anything related.

My drama watching is very moderate now. Will only start on a series when I know I'm free that week to complete it. And since Adam couple left WGM already... I'm more or less not so crazy abt it anymore.

And well. What I don't know, I won't do. Explains my negligence for Arashi, XG, BIGBANG and a whole lot of others. That's why I stopped logging into twitter so much. I'm so uninformed about them that I can't be bothered anymore (unless they come to SG, that's a whole different story). It's been good for me anyway, what with me not spending on Arashi anymore.
I STILL LOVE ALL OF THEM MUCH MUCH MUCH THOUGH!!!!!
But unfortunately, I can't live on music.
And it's not like I'll ever get the chance of getting close to them so wtf.

Am I happy this way?
I think the lack of all that doesn't make a big difference as long as I have something that motivates me...which is currently the hope of seeing JYJ/BIGBANG this year, as well as my cosplay stuff.
The only thing that's making me so tired and depressed everyday is the amount of school workload I have... it's killing me. It's week 3. It's still supposed to be holiday week. But it feels like week 10 already.

2011-01-26T13:25:00.002+08:00

Just be myself.
No matter what kind of judgments others might make.
Because that's how I'll know who are my true friends.

2011-01-22T05:10:00.003+08:00

What.the.shit.
It's either my English is completely failing me... or this retarded reading's author used the thesaurus to come up with fucked up words & sentences like ephemeral, arsenal of antecedent skills and predispositions, nascent, serendipitous....etc etc I'm not even halfway done.

This is more like improve-my-English lesson than understanding what the fuck the article is discussing on. No wonder Bella said she didn't get the readings -_-"

Edit:
Second, the philosophical debate on the ontological nature of opportunities has been a major hurdle for theoretical progress. The study suggests that the discourse could be innocuously shifted instead to the epistemological nature of opportunities. While silent to their ontological aspect, it highlights their epistemological aspect. This is essentially a position of epistemological relativism, an assumption that forms the most general level of this article's theoretical propositions.....

FUCK. Reading this paragraph at 6.30am is like reading greek. I can't even understand ONE single sentence out of it no matter how many times I process it.

Then again, if anyone understands this at all I shall deem you my god.

2011-01-21T02:51:00.003+08:00

If you've the time to brag to the whole world, I'm sure you've also got plenty of time to deal with your eff-ed up shit.

It takes two hands to clap. You say I treat you like ___, but if I don't, would you ever?

I really don't need all these put downs.

What I don't understand is...how such an outgoing, sociable 12-year-old could turn out to be this introverted, moody bitch after 10 years.

Oh gawd my wireless internet sucks like shit.

2011-01-17T01:04:00.004+08:00

SOOOOO...

my only friend is 'betraying' me.
So much for antisocial-ness and independence.

WHAT. AM I SERIOUSLY THE EFFING ONLY 'INDEPENDENT' STUDENT IN NUS OR WHAT?
Will taking ONE module alone KILL YOU?

Don't fucking whine to me about needing someone with you all because the only fucking thing you're gonna get out of me is "I'm taking half my mods alone this fucking semester because NUS screwed with our timetables and I don't have much of a fucking choice really; go deal with your own problems" SO THERE.

You think I like being alone too?
Stepping into a giggling class where they all know each other while I hide in one corner and form groups with a bunch of FML people??!

Well given a choice between fitting everything into my own schedule nicely or going to school every-fucking-day at ridiculous hours just to be in the same class...I'll say I dare take my chances of finding new group mates.
Yeah that sure worked out hell for me. FML I HATE THEM.

Omg. It's only week 1 and everything/everyone IRKS THE HELL OUTTA ME already.

2011-01-12T23:38:00.001+08:00

because sometimes, gaming brings out the worst in us.

2011-01-09T22:48:00.001+08:00

Say hello to 9+ hours of weekly choir.
wah lao that's more than my normal lecture hours can?!

Bali

2011-01-08T23:33:00.004+08:00

Feels like I just got back from a sports camp, all black and worn out with body aches everywhere.

Day 1 - intensive kayaking, ball game in the pool, basketball, table tennis
Day 2 - archery, flying fish, jet ski, sunburnt and ball game in the pool, soccer, ~~noobish~~ tennis, intensive badminton
Day 3 - nua-ed, abs workout at the gym by my coach auntie carine, table tennis, picked up proper tennis ~~but still suck at it~~, dip in the pool
Day 4 - walk walk walk
Day 5 - hiked ~300 steps (1 step = 2 normal steps) down, water rafting, climbed the ~~crazy~~ steps back up

day 6: coma-ed back at home in my bed for the entire night/afternoon

My thighs are so tough now you can't even pinch them lol

But nevertheless, Club Med was quite awesome, what with all the sportsy activities and 'free' flow drinks & food. Wonderful staff who has to multi-task all day/night long. Don't they ever sleep? Their nightly performances weren't that great though, pool kinda small too.
Mandira had better rooms, what with all that natural rain shower (coolest bathroom ever), but little facilities. Only stayed there for a night anyways.

Pictures up another time. If ever.

Eyecandies

2011-01-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

So many cute angmoh, abc & jap guys here in Bali iwanttodie.
Especially since the area is so small so I keep bumping into this super cute japanese-looking hottie.
EYECANDY TTM.

And I also saw a freaking chio abc lady just now. Quite tall, very slim, super tanned, and just mad pretty. Plus she wore this coral dress that was so eye catching. My god my self-esteem level just totally dropped to negative 100 every time I saw her. She would totally match my new-found eyecandy but noooooo, she has an angmoh bf. =(

My December Hols + New Year Resolutions

2011-01-02T04:15:00.001+08:00

Spent the day after our morning finals eating, whining and shopping with the bims, before reluctantly heading to TAMPINES for dinner...all the while running on only 1 hour of sleep.

Had a shocking, eventful, next day adventure with Rach...and 2AM.

Went out a couple more times with the bims and bos and whoever. Plus a failed movie marathon overnighter which turned into 5 hours of Monopoly Deal. And the usual movie outings with the usual people.

Visited Republic Poly for the first time in my life at WOODLANDS for EOY. Eileen's solo was awesome as usual =D

5 hours straight of jpop and kpop fail at Cash Studio with the movie club peeps.

Got desperate for money and ended up working for my brother only to end up sick with a record-high fever since eons ago, and a bad sore throat + cough which doesn't seem to be going away even after 2 effing weeks. (so eventually my mom & I gave up and I just went back to my sweets & junk food)

Trained my potrait photography at KT's solo photoshoot. I think I need more training. =( And just screw my own photoshoots because my suppliers are all being ridiculous. (not done, delayed, can't meet up. excuses excuses excuses.) I'm just gonna postpone all my fucking photoshoots to next year at this rate. AGAIN.

Spent an entire day baking (I've come to realize that I actually like to bake) although I ended up with really fail icing. Oh well, as long as my cupcakes are edible, you guys don't mind right? (ok so apparently my icing was nice with the cupcake yay =D)

Missed one caroling gig because I was sick and went for the remaining ones with a stupidly half-assed voice. Thank you KT + LY + Yvonne for coming down for the Conrad one.

Had a Christmas gathering with my bro's friends turned Sarah's bday celebration at Ching's amazing house with too much food. Desserts overload. (like o.m.g. why are my bro's friends all so effing rich. her house is the kind of rich house you see in dramas, with glass walls, freaking modernity, large pond and a basement underneath her car porch.) I wonder if in 3 years' time, my group of friends will also be meeting up once in a blue moon, celebrating Christmas with a posh dinner, reminiscing on 6 years ago, and talking about work and marriage. (oh dear. I can't believe they're at the age of marriage already. Feels so... adult-ish.)

A lazy afternoon of board games with movie club + KH at Play Nation. I'm the Boss ish sho farn. Dark horse. xD

Celebrating Christmas our typical family-friends style. Turkey ham log cake lunch + noisy karaoke & mahjong afternoon + turkey porridge dinner + late night and midnight movie.

Finally had a shopping meet-up with Han. Our stamina sucks babe. Love you loadsssss bffnf!

Failed outing w/ the wo nangers after 2 freaking months. Wasn't even an outing; it became a gathering at my villa hurhur. At least I finally touched mahjong this hols!

Spent the last day of 2010 wondering why people were so excited to celebrate the start of another horrible year ahead. HELLO. IT'S THE END OF OUR HOLIDAYS. Well I wanted to scrap this pessimistic thought away, but then my family ended up spending countdown watching a glimpse of fireworks through the trees and then getting mad at each other... so. WHAT A BLASTING WAY TO START THE YEAR MAN.

So I looked through my past NY resolutions and realized I kept none of '08 ones, one-third of '09 and totally disregarded '10's ONE resolution (which was, btw, 'GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD BACK INTO YOUR STUDIES YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH'). I don't even know what I did this past semester...horleedae? I'm so fail ttm.

Anyway,
new year resolutions which I'm like so determined to keep this time round:

~~burn NUS to ashes~~

GPA. UP UP UP. I don't have anymore computing mods to fall back on so I'm pretty much screwed if I stay the way I am. (Mama's asking me why I took biz instead of computing. And why don't I just switch course/school.)

Save.my.effing.money. I NEED TO GO JAPAN NEXT HOLS OMG.

Stop being anti-social. Stop being selfish. Stop being spoilt.

I gave up trying to kick my procrastination habit. And being late and sleepy all the time. They're like my middle names.

Had a kinda awesome first day of the year. Bali in 3 hours time.
Happy new year for all that's worth!

2010-12-23T02:50:00.002+08:00

chasing dreams. going out. caroling. falling sick. baking. party party party.
ehh my holidays are kinda wasted just like that.
i don't even know what i've actually DONE this past 2.5 weeks.
i've not even accomplished a single task on my to-do list, like revamping my blog or doing/editing any photoshoots, or reorganizing my stuff.

in fact, i think i'm going out way.too.much. this hols; no wonder i'm so effing broke.
but amazingly i've gone out so much and still i've yet to see them because as usual no one actually bothers to organize, or even initiate, an outing except for moi. wtfsrsly.

And my results are so-so-so bad that I should be wailing my half-blind eyes off and going into shock-coma... and yet instead I was so guiltily relieved (elated even) when I saw them 'cos I actually passed. omg I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO RETAKE ECONS AND WHATSTHATMODULE. There, I said it.

So in conclusion, after MAJORLY screwing up 3 papers so far in my NUS life, I believe that as long as you sit for the exam and not hand up a blank sheet of paper (i don't know, just shade or scribble something, even if it's utter crap), it's really extremely difficult to fail. The worst thing that could happen is just that you'll end up with a ridiculous cap score like mine.

I just hope what I said above doesn't jinx my next 2 semesters. No lord I'm not taking this for granted. I'm eternally grateful for the passes.

2010-12-17T23:02:00.007+08:00

first week of holidays was bliss.
this week is a total nightmare.
doesn't help that i dreamt last night of getting 1.x for all my modules this sem. i can even remember it was like, 1.2. 1.35. 1.8 and so on. isn't that a big f.a.i.l.

and then i just spent 3 hours trying to find a replacement for my caroling at conrad.
only to find none.

super pissed off and i think you know why.
LIKE I SAID BEFORE, if u can't do it, TELL ME EARLIER.
have i not been asking you since months ago?
but you said last month that 1 month was more than enough for you, so I FUCKING GAVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND DID NOT PESTER YOU ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
what was the whole point of rushing my taobao order and paying extra shipping cost when in the end it's still gonna turn out like that?

AND IT'S NOT HELPING THAT I'M HAVING A FUCKING FEVER FOR THE GAZILLION TIMES THIS YEAR AND A SORE THROAT WHEN CAROLING IS TOMORROW. GODDAMNIT.

half-assed.
and an ass.

2010-12-14T23:18:00.004+08:00

I wanted to vent a whole piece of my mind here for everyone to read but then with my tail between my legs I did that in my private blog instead.

You know what would be nice? If someone takes the fucking initiation for once.

So far only 2 people I know do that and I absolutely worship their persistence.
Unfortunately, I don't have the same kind of patience.

and then you realize that money CAN buy 'friends'

Do you remember?

2010-12-14T01:16:00.002+08:00

If my life were transient like a flower
I would be in full bloom by your side
And after watching your smile
I would fall alone, just quietly

If I could flutter like a bird
I would fly to you
And offer my wing
To your wounded back

If I could flow like a wind
I would reach you
If I could shine like a moon
I would keep shining on you

.
.
.
maybe I should have remembered ~~before~~ .

2010-12-08T12:30:00.001+08:00

nooooooooo........

but yayyyyy finally!!

Like Crazy

2010-12-03T16:30:00.001+08:00

2 Dec, Thu

I’m honestly damn shagged after walking around and standing the entire day today. Plus with my failed internet, I’m just gonna do a run-through of today’s meeting with 2AM on MSWord (before I forget everything) then heading to sleep!

What a way to start my holidays!! LOL. Ok so what happened was that I only found out last week about the Mnet concert and that 2AM was coming around the same time as KHJ. I was totally more hyped up about KHJ (since he’s my husband) than 2AM. All the fans are gonna completely stone me to death, but to be honest, I’m not exactly crazy over 2AM. I mean, I like Jokwon from WGM and the other boys (especially Seulong, I think he’s hilarious. And Changmin's cooking!) when WGM features them. (In the first place, I watched WGM because of Ga-In, not Jokwon.) And I know they sing really well; I like some of their songs too. But I don’t know much about them. =x

So anyway, on the 30th I was browsing through a blog that had all the Kpop events updates – more specifically, browsing for KHJ’s events. Then I chanced upon this post about a contest for 2AM’s fan meet by Universal Music/Getmusic. It was free, simple, and I was just really bored from studying. (LIKE I SAID, all the fans are gonna stone me lol.) The contest was just to answer in less than 50 words why I deserve to meet 2AM. Didn’t really give much thought into it, and I’m not gonna post what I submitted since apparently it was deserving enough then next time everyone will use the same answer HAHA. But yea, I really wasn’t expecting anything. At all.

UNTIL SOMEONE FREAKING CALLED ME THE NEXT DAY AFTER MY EXAM AT 3+PM TO TELL ME TO MEET AT MBS FOR THE FAN MEET.

LOL WHAT!?

I was super calm on the phone at first ‘cos I had no idea what she was talking about until it dawned upon me and I was like “wait, what??! You..you mean I got it???” then started shrieking to the Bims about the call. Christmas came in advance!
Aish come to think of it, it must be difficult for the caller to deal with all the crazy fan girls.

And so since I could bring a friend along, I asked Rach who by the way, doesn’t even know 2AM LOL. I can sense flames in all the fan girls’ eyes already. She listens to their songs but doesn’t know the band well.

Well to make up for our lack of…erm…attitude? =x Today we spent the afternoon before the fan meeting looking for presents to give the boys. We didn’t even have lunch ok! (Nor dinner.) But it was such short notice to get or make something nice for them, so we bought 4 really pretty (and expensive) cake slices from Canale and freaking expensive stationary from Papermarket to make a nice card for them. In total both of us spent like $30+ EACH for a band that we weren’t even THAT crazy about. (Plus another $30 for the album.) But we comforted ourselves and said it was a rehearsal for us before BIGBANG comes LOLOL.

It was raining heavily at 4pm by then, so we were worried that we would be late. Got a cab and rushed off to MBS and ended up with no. freaking. time. to write & decorate the card. What a waste! I believe the other girls there would have spotted Rach + I giggling over our last-minute attempts to decorate the cake box instead.

Well… it looked pretty good in the end right? =\ We didn't have time to take a snapshot of the cakes though =(

There were 4 groups of winners and we were the 3rd group to go in. But before that while waiting, ‘cos Rach & I were standing infront on our group, the lady in-charge of us (she’s super friendly & nice! All staff should be like that =D ) talked for a bit. She told us that the poor boys had a busy schedule today and only had Subway for lunch (seriously -_-“ SUBWAY!?!?!) and Jinwoon also had an egg tart. So yay lucky we bought cakes for them. Only hope they’re allowed to eat it. (Does anyone know if they screen food??)

Before that she also asked if anyone was wearing a skirt. I was the only one in my group (of 10 people, all girls) so she appointed that Rach/I + the pair behind us to flank 2AM on the right and left while the remaining 6 squat/kneel infront. YAY to me for wearing a skirt!

Waited for quite a bit before we finally got to go in. We peeked in from outside while waiting in the corridor, from left to right were the boys in their usual order - Jinwoon, Jokwon, Changmin & Seulong. Wearing white. (Wah they wore the same outfit the entire day.) The girls behind us asked where we wanted to stand and I immediately said next to Seulong. Luckily they wanted to stand on Jinwoon’s side anyway.

It was only a short 3 minutes meet & greet session but I was totally bubbling inside when it was over. We went in and I had NO IDEA what to do while approaching them. They were standing there like huge, towering ‘statues’, as quoted from Rach. But my gosh, I’ve never met anyone so solid and just so BIG. Felt like an ant even though I was wearing my heels.

Thank god Rach the oh-so-calm-one started by holding her hand out to shake their hands. So I walked towards Jinwoon first and shoke his hand. Have absolutely no recollections of him, I don’t know why sorry. Then Jokwon… Rach said he looked quite dao and we concluded that he was just really shagged since his flight came in late. Next was Changmin, who was hilariously like a robot. He was just staring straight ahead while shaking all our hands and repeating “nice to meet you…nice to meet you”. Lastly was Seulong! He was the most cheery among the group! And he smiled really sincerely at me while shaking hands. Btw, he is A HUNDRED TIMES cuter in real life than in photos.

For photo-taking, at first I was standing infront of Seulong ‘cos we were kinda squeezed. Then they shifted us a bit so that I stood next to Seulong instead with Rach beside me. VERY closely to Seulong. 2 photos taken, and I hope they send us BOTH photos, not just 1. Was kinda giddy from what was actually happening so I almost walked out just like that after the session. Until when we looked back, Seulong smiled, waved at us and said “nice meeting you/thank you for coming” or something along that lines I can’t remember clearly. THEN I remembered the cake box was still in my hands HAHA wth. Hopeless to the max. Even Rach forgot! So I quickly passed it personally to Seulong and thanked him. He looked surprised at first then smiled really widely and thanked us for a few times. Aigooo, love this boy. After today he totally became my bias.

Sounds like a lot happened but everything happened within less than 5 minutes can. Sigh. I can still remember very clearly Seulong’s smile. Gonna dream about it tonight. ♥~

Cam-whored a little at the convention center...

Merry Christmas~
Last-minute decision… we decided to head to IMM for the autograph session since Rach managed to get the golden ticket. We were laughing like mad how lucky we were for 2AM. Wish it would happen for when BIGBANG comes too. Chose the longer bus ride instead of train ‘cos we wanted to sit and nua and eat our caramel popcorn. YUMMY GO BUY! Fangirled the entire journey about BB. It was kinda spastic how we were making ourselves so excited for BB when the ones we were meeting was 2AM.

Reached IMM at about 6.50pm after getting drenched in the rain. Urghhhh. What’s with my repeated autograph session experiences and rain seriously. We got separated since I only had the silver ticket, but we still managed to find each other with the barricade blocking us. Boys reached rather late, about 7.50pm?

Have not posted my video up yet...anyway I'm sure there will be many other fancams floating around on youtube.

Here's one already!

I hated the fan girls there though. Seriously. Keep quiet when they’re talking lah! Scream for fuck? Couldn’t hear anything that Jokwon, Jinwoon and the translator said. Fail max. Doesn't help that Ken's pronunciation sucks too, his singlish just shines like wtf. -_-“

Ken: I guess you guys are really really happy right......This is actually your second time in Singapore this year, but this time u bring your latest album to Singapore, how do you feel?
Jokwon: This is the second trip to Singapore and we are again at the same place this year. We are very happy to come back with this new album, thank you all for your support.
Ken: So did your members try composing the songs in this latest new album? Are the other members trying also? Intending to write more new songs?
Jinwoon: Yes, all the members are actually WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?? you should look forward to it as well.

Omg if anyone knows what Jinwoon or the translator said please leave a comment or twit me.

And Rach encountered this Chinese girl who almost ran off with her album. The girl wanted to take down the contact of another guy who had a clear video of 2AM but it was difficult to write without anything as a backing, so Rach kindly lent her the album to write on. In the end the girl returned the pen to Rach but not the album. Rach was kinda flustered at that moment, what with all the fans screaming around her and stuff so she forgot. The next thing I knew she was coming over to me frantically searching for her album. She thought she dropped it! Until she realized what happened and squeezed in front to search for the girl. Apparently the girl was holding TWO albums in her hands and acted completely blur when Rach approached her. Thank god the camera guy was there too and verified for Rach.

So I was waiting for her to be done and hopefully praying for silver ticket-holders to get autographs too.... but guess it didn't happen. Apparently Rach said that the autographing wasn’t really pleasant ‘cos the security kept hurrying/pushing them. Like by the time one of the boys finished signing and looked up to smile, the security already pushed the fan forward so end up she/he won’t get to see that the boys wanted to look at them too. And the whole security was crazy ‘cos they even had staff stand on the stage, in front of the boys so even fans on the ground area can’t see them!? Stupid lah. Well, despite the no phototaking/recording on stage, smart Rach got a little closeup video of them. Man I love her. Not gonna post it up though sorry.

After the signing...

I wanted to murder that stupid person holding up the signboard. Blocked my view of Changmin & Seulong!!!! UGHHHH. *stabs stabs stabs*

So there. Turned into a 2AM fan in one day. (Rach too, almost.) Their live singing was really good. Seulong’s really cute. And once I receive the photo I’m gonna crop everyone out so that I get a couple picture of him + myself. HAHA GOOD NIGHT!

Edit: Go watch the press conference videos at xinmsn! This one's really cute!
And in this one, Jokwon picked Ga-In as his ideal girl and also talked a little about her.

Edit 2:

Selling the file 'cos I don't think I'll use it. Comment or twit me your price! Thanks~

@yoruichis_

JYJ

2010-12-03T13:36:00.002+08:00

So after my super-belated post on Xiaogui's showcase, here's another belated post for JYJ.

16 Oct, Sat

CRAZY SATURDAY. I can't believe how I spent the ENTIRE Saturday chasing JYJ.
AND I'M BLARDY ILL-FATED WITH JAEJOONG. >=(

First met Liz @ airport at about 12pm... yea we were kinda late considering how some fans camped there since 7am (for a 1pm flight). Was quite hilarious 'cos we were standing in the middle of nowhere coming up with a 'strategic' place to stand so that we could see the boys clearly. Instead we went to grab seats & decided to stand on it to overlook everyone else. (not a very smart move really now) YL only joined us at about 1+pm.

On a side note: I REALLY HATE QUEST. They gave out a whole stack of tickets for free at the airport. WTF. And I'm not the only one. After the showcase, everyone was complaining on fb about Quest's lousy management. Sure, thank you very much for bringing JYJ to Singapore, but your organization needs way better management fgs. One girl posted 3 really long comments listing out all the crap that they did which I shall copy & paste IF Quest didn't already delete them. (you can't hide anything by deleting our comments) And as quoted by another fan, "I've never felt such joy DURING the showcase and yet suffered so much BEFORE/AFTER the showcase."

Moving on, I shall conclude that Singaporean fans are quite dumb. Ok maybe they're not Singaporeans since there were sooooo many other international fans there too. But sigh. The dance crew (or whoever they were) first came out in shades & stuff and everyone screameddd like mad shit while Liz & I were standing there on our chairs calmly going "huh?? that's not JYJ what". -_-" Some fans even ran off from their places to follow them. Then about 10min later we spotted a big group of people inside the arrival area and yayyy it was Jaejoong & the gang! Not that I could see anything clearly 'cos they were so far away SIGHHHHHH!

So screams screams and madness ensued. Like I said earlier, our spot really SUCKED because once everyone on the ground raised their cameras, Liz & I couldn't see anything AT ALL even though we were raised. I think I only managed to catch a split-second glimpse of Yoochun while Liz saw Junsu. WE BOTH DIDN'T SEE JAEJOONG FOL!

Then Liz & I raaaaan to the secret corridor that we found earlier on leading to outside the airport where the vans were. There were like, 2 white vans, 1 black & another bigger white mini bus. And only about 5+ of us fans waiting there by the side of the road while the other fans are trying to all squeeze out of the barracade exit behind JYJ. JYJ was nowhere in sight but naturally I thought they should be in the black van (which left first) so Liz & I were eyeing it when it drove off. She thought she saw Jaejoong or Junsu in it (but according to our debate later on about what they were wearing, it wasn't them but Yoochun). Another fan girl also came up to confirm with us whether JYJ left on the black van... because ALL the other fans were crowding around the white mini bus. wtfsrsly.

Anyway we were like, supperrrrrrrrr depressed that we didn't get to see the boys much. And our photos/videos didn't do us any good either 'cos when excitement gets to you, your hands apparently just fail you. Met up with YL again to fangirl & check tweets before leaving to City Hall to grab our albums & lunch. And also because JYJ's press conference was at Swisshotel.

After lunch at MOS Burger (that was about 4pm?) we headed to Swisshotel to camp. Very few fans were there too so we were super happy. More of them came though after and started flooding the hotel entrance. AND SO WE STOOD THERE FOR 2 HOURS (both Liz & I were in high heels) because we were QUITE SURE that they would come down since the black van was parked right outside + the 2 security guards were lingering at the lobby too. End up the stupid crew members and manager came down WITH NO JAEJOONG/YUCHUN/JUNSU and then the hotel manager told us "you can leave now"! WTF TTM FOL!!! Super pissed + disappointed x143276578. We soooo thought we were gonna see our Jaejoong upclose. Sigh.

YL went home to change first so Liz & I cabbed (we were exhausted by then) to Expo to grab our lightsticks. And another shock came to us when we arrived 'cos there was a fucking long queue outside the hall. AND no merchandise being sold. Sorry I just can't think of any words to describe that feeling, it goes way beyond wtf/fml. The showcase was supposed to start at 8pm in hall 3 - the queue was from hall 3 all the way down to hall 6 by about 8.30pm. (Quest pushed all the blame to JYJ's management.) So there you have a whole herd of fans already SUPER exhausted from chasing & queuing before the showcase had even started.

Because of the 1 hour delay, security checks were uber fail. And the seatings, omg *face palms* The spacing between each category was so blardy ridiculous. We had like an entire few meters of EMPTY SPACE right in front of us ('cos Liz & I were sitting at cat C 1st row, seats separated by an aisle due to lousy 'random' allocation of seats by Quest). USE THE GODDAMN SPACE AND PUT OUR SEATS THERE LAH! And so much for being tiered... Singapore Indoor Stadium - yes I call that tiered seats. The one for JYJ showcase was *bangs wall*. The staff were super strict too because at the last minute we were told that no cameras were allowed (before that they specifically said that only pro-cams weren't allowed (and standing not allowed. wtf. first time I go concert hear such thing pls.) then the rule somehow changed on the day of the showcase) so they had people patrolling the area (stupid guy kept blocking my fucking view I felt like hurling my bag at him - in fact I think the fans behind me wanted to too) to catch people who took their cameras out. Liz & I decided to just audio-record by placing our cameras on record mode in our bags.

ANYWAY. That's the rundown of my wasted chasing efforts & horrible complaints. Very nicely summarized here and here.
(HAHA. We were so hoping that Razor TV didn't get a shot of us at the hotel.)

OWELL, BUT THE SHOWCASE ITSELF WAS AWESOME. (AND OVERPRICED.)

Rundown of the showcase by sharingyoochun.net and kuroi_katzchen.

My audio recordings of the showcase MC parts.
part 1
part 2 (Q&A)
part 3 (Q&A)

2010-11-26T00:25:00.004+08:00

Horrible, horrible paper.
And I thought stats was the worst exam ever. I think this one can par with it, or even top it.
I studied through 8 chapters, STUDIED. Like, I thought I understood it and all but then why did the questions all look so foreign to me? Never mind the fact I only studied 8 out of 17 chapters, but even those questions belonging to the 8 chapters...like some alien scribblings that I just couldn't process.

Wasn't kidding when I said "do u think can pass if i just shade all 75qn one answer". I literally spent 1.5hrs anyhow choosing answers for the first 50 questions, then shaded 'b' for the last 25 questions. Only to have people tell me at the end of the exam that there was negative marking. Would have totally broken down and cried except that I couldn't since there were gazillion other people around and also thanks to D, whom I spent the next 30 minutes or so bitching and whining to. Then we started reminiscing on our craziness on stats day, and how an atomic bomb should just drop down and kill us off. (it's funny how people say they want to die all the time...so no one believes me when i say i really don't see the point in living and i do really want to die....i'm not saying this because of the exam stress. i think about it all the time. and i did/do have weird thoughts about the korean war, or war in general, but i think typing it out here would just make people judge/hate me so whatever.)

And I don't understand why people like to say I'm better off than them 'cos I study faster or understand things better etc and that they suck when MY GRADES ARE BLINDINGLY OBVIOUSLY THE LOWEST AMONG EVERYONE. I GET IT, I DESERVE IT for not starting early - say THAT to my face instead. I really don't need such comforting lies for fucks sake they just make me feel worst. But with that being said, I just CAN'T start early. Think I haven't tried?? Lock my computer up, take away my bed, isolate me in a study room... my mind has ways of finding other things to do believe me. I just can't fucking work without the pressure and stress. Maybe next time, someone should tell me my exam is one day earlier than it really is. Gahhhh sounds like a great idea. One day's worth of time does wonders for me.

Notice how I always go on a typing rampage after every bad paper. School's unhealthy for the soul man.

2010-11-24T08:19:00.002+08:00

You say you are. You think you are.
But according to my standards, you're not, and you can't if you keep thinking this way.

I know you can do much more than me,
but honestly speaking, so far I've not been 100% satisfied with that.
I'd rather stick to my way of doing things even if it means plenty of dependence/reliance.

2010-11-19T17:53:00.003+08:00

Woke up with a huge headache today - like I just had 101 dreams/nightmares bursting outta my head (well but I only remember 3 of it...not stuff I would like to remember srsly)

".....u what econs hangover?"

I WISH it was an econs hangover, at least I have something to brag about then. BUT I HAVE COMPLETELY NOT STARTED ON ANYTHING AT ALL. I need to go murder myself kthxbai.

AND BTW. Unless your name is Dorcas, I'm not really replying anyone else via sms now (unless I'm in a good mood).
In fact, I feel like throwing my phone out of the window because even D stresses me out sometimes.

2010-11-18T02:02:00.001+08:00

I completely disgust myself.

the feeling's coming back

2010-11-16T02:27:00.004+08:00

I lie awake again, my body's feeling paralysed
I can't remember when, I didn't live through this disguise
The words you said to me, they couldn't set me free
I'm stuck here in this life I didn't ask for

it's selfish thinking. it's my own pain. it's my own gain. it's boredom. it's cowardly. it's my spoiled self. it's loneliness. it's fatigue. it's my ignorance. it's my escape.
and it's on my mind every single night haunting me like a dream.

2010-11-15T09:48:00.004+08:00

I've already tried to salvage it as much as I can, dear angels please help me with the rest of the grading. at least 1/2 of it is solid since I wrote it (i didn't think so initially, but since they said my part was good.. then i shall self-praise).

After spending about one week's worth of nightless days working on this you would think it'll turn out to be godly instead of this worthless junk.

thank you d for letting me vent. although you know i do the same for you too hurhur. bitching partners ftw.

黄鸿升 FUN 4摇滚 LIVE巡回音乐会

2010-11-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

4 Sep, Sat

**LONG POST**

Ok before I start recapping the live showcase (have always wanted to do a concert recap like those Arashi concert reports haha), I have to say this first.
I'M SO INSANELY GLAD THAT I WENT FOR IT IN THE END. WOULD HAVE DIED OF TRAGIC REGRET IF I DIDN'T.
(and I'm super regretting not chasing with the rest on Sun 'cos apparently XG gave them food to eat + talked to them. ughhhhhhhhhhh)

so anyway.

disco ball & lights... they were screening his MVs while we waited for almost an hour

Met up with Huiyi to queue outside Dragonfly at about 6pm. Thank god we managed to make it to like the 5th or 6th row when we went inside. It wasn't as packed as LYJ's showcase, but we were definitely crazier than that. And Huiyi & I were still complaining that we should have been there earlier so that we could stand in the 1st few rows - freaking lots of interaction with XG. I still can't digest the whole live gig; I still can't believe my eyes, he was just right in front of us. Sooooo near yet so far.

this is what i meant, so close yet so far. LITERALLY. captured using my really-sucky-zoom-lens-dslr so u can go figure just how close he was to me.

Briefly summarized - XG's performance was definitely not perfect. He had forgotten lyrics & quite a number of tempo problems. But that totally didn't affect us at all, just made us scream louder in fact lol. And I screamed soooo loud & so often (yes I'm sure you can hear in my videos) that the girl to my left kept giving me the look. Party pooper. She was silent throughout the entire 1.5hours digusting. But yeaaaa, XG is so awesome. And so so so cute. He interacted A LOT with us, and listened to all our requests. ♥~

* MC = XG talking

Set list:
1. 总冠军
2. 鬼混
3. 鬼打墙
4. Introduction MC
5. 玩具枪与玫瑰
6. 摇滚英雄致敬 - 五月天《轧车》, 张震岳《自由》, 伍佰《浪人情歌》
7. MC (跟各地粉丝问好)
8. 不屑
9. 搞砸了 + MC (爱心气球)
10. 地球上最浪漫的一首歌 + MC (真的搞砸了)
11. MC + [新加坡特别] 女神致敬 - 杨丞琳《匿名的好友》, 范玮琪《一个像秋天一个像夏天》, 江蕙《家后》, 王心凌《爱你》, 张惠妹《维多利亚的秘密》
12. MC + 懒得理你
13. 不要就拉倒
14. MC (捏泥巴)
15. 我不要长生不老
16. MC
17. 没人爱俱乐部
18. MC + thank you's
19. 为自己
20. [Encore] 御守之心

They started showing a photo slide show of his progress - from a little boy (super cute!!!), to the pai kia of 丸子, to the rocker that he is now. Then FUN4 came out, followed by XG singing to 总冠军 (in the middle he kinda sang wrongly beforehand haha), then transiting to 鬼混 and then 鬼打墙.

The first MC was already quite funny. Because at the IMM autograph session (apparently started off from the 接机 people) we asked him to dance 美人计. And he said if we came today for the live gig, he may dance for us ahaha. Well he did.. kinda.. try to... later on during one of the songs.. LOL. But we weren't satisfied so he said see how in the future.

玩具枪与玫瑰 is one of my favourite songs from XG so I decided to enjoy the moment & stopped videoing for quite awhile.

emo =(

I can't remember what's after that but he talked for a bit after the songs. He asked us whether we wanted to listen to 失恋一个月的歌 or 失恋一天的歌 first.. and we said 一天. Then he rebutted and said why listen to the happier song first? Must be sad song first then slowly become happier. After that he was like, ming ming we're gonna follow our own set list already what for ask you guys. lol -_-"

edit: found another fancam for this part!

So the first song was 不屑.. and he sang wrongly again in the 2nd verse! (瞬间就统统消灭 became 瞬间就统统化解 or sth like that) LOL DAMN CUTE CAN when he cheekily grinned. Then after the instrumental bit, he couldn't come in on beat either ahahaha. He always has so much problems with 不屑 lah!
XG: "我刚刚。。我刚刚。。"
Fans: "没有忘词！"
lol.

What happened next in 搞砸了 was daaaaamn funny. Watch my video to know what happened, the whole situation was too hilarious for me to even explain.

XG tried creating a 浪漫 atmosphere during 地球上最浪漫的一首歌 but failed horribly. We were all carrying the 爱心 balloons by then so I hecked my camera. Some fans were frantically waving their balloons and XG kept asking us to slow down slow down, '晃慢一点啦!' In the end after the song he said how these 2 songs failed. 搞砸了 supposed to be sad end up playing with balloons. 地球上最浪漫的一首歌 supposed to be romantic but end up we couldn't coordinate our waving of the balloons. =x

Next was the 女英雄致敬 part. The talking bit prior to it was also quite funny.
XG: "这几位女英雄leh。。有几位呢，是我的好朋友？"
Fans: "杨丞琳！"
XG: "有几位呢，是我的偶像？"
Fans: "杨丞琳！"
XG: "那有几位leh，伤过我的心？"
Fans: "杨丞琳！"
LOL. He was quite exasperated. It was his 2nd or 3rd time asking all these and we still gave the same answers.

Oh yea to explain the "不要这样子！" which he exclaimed out of the blue in the video, it was because the Malaysian FC people were waving their balloons and they kept hitting XG's legs since so near HAHA.
And some of the girls at the front kept pulling on XG's hand & refused to let go.. I thought that was quite wth. His management sure not happy lor zzzz

After all the songs... (his '美人计' in 不要就拉倒 failed to the max LOL) well I guess we just wanted to see him dance. "你们是来看综艺节目对不对？" HAHAHA. So he very reluctantly danced 捏泥巴 for us =D

A bit pitchy for 我不要长生不老, not that we care.

edit: love youtube, love fancams!

We all thought 没人爱俱乐部 was his last song so everyone started shouting encore already, that's why XG was like who said this is the ending already?? ahahaha. Then he asked us all to reach out our hands towards him and whine "不要走~~" and that made him reaaaaallly happy. He also said when he was in M'sia, he accidentally called out to Singaporean fans instead of Malaysian LOL. SHOWS HOW MUCH HE LOVES US ♥~

reading out the sponsors

and a really happy xiaogui ^^

edit: found fancam!

After that was the final song 为自己 =( Instead of screaming at the start like usual, everyone was like sighing away lol. Thank god XG fans are the persistent kind though. No one moved a single inch when XG & FUN4 left the stage and we shouted in unison from "encore" to "黄鸿升" to "小鬼" before they finally reappeared for 御守之心. And even after that final final song, everyone STAYED PUT at their spots for at least another 5 good minutes shouting for encore. (THANK YOU. finally a concert where the fans have brains) It was only when the stage crew changed the music & started clearing the stage that everyone slowly & reluctantly began to disperse.

LOVE LOVE. Totally worth the 61 bucks! &hearts~
I hope they come up with a special DVD for this Singapore trip too. Wasn't able to chase him on Sun & Mon =(
WE MISS HIM ALREADY~

Ending off with a really cute expression, LOVE THOSE DIMPLES!! xD

DO NOT RE-POST PHOTOS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. *death glare*

NO I'm not taking bsp2001

2010-11-10T04:00:00.003+08:00

Le: eh, i nv do anything for econs so tutorial is a waste of time
D: and right
i asked around
Le: ?
D: ehh this is impt
the lecture notes for econs is quite different from the tb
so we have to LISTEN TO WEBCAST
bloody hell double work
Le: i knoww
i asked arnd too
but the advice i got was...
D: wah u know
i didnt even know!!
Le: "if u started going for his lectures and u read the notes, then watch the webcast. if u purely read from tb, dun listen to webcast"
so
-_-"
D: oh nooo
we are all screwed either way
Le: ya tell me abt it
D: i took 12 hours to read 1 chapt of econs last night
Le: ...
wth
that bad?
D: is it just me
that im so lazy slow and out of touch with econs
becos after that
Le: dies. if u take 12 hours i'm gonna take 24
D: i duno what i read
dont ask me what is it short run or long run
Le: ughhhhh
can we not talk abt econs. it gives me major brain damage
D: hahh...lets studie together lah.
stu0die
Le: i'm like, in denial. i don't have an econs exam
D: stu-die
lol
kk FINE
Le: LOL

2010-11-06T23:55:00.004+08:00

I don't like to be corrected.
I don't like to be treated like I know nothing.

In fact, everything 'everyone' knows about me is really nothing at all.
What do you know.

in fact, this is awful, but my world is different from yours. stop trying to enter something you don't know yet think you know.
question. is it better for me to wear your little mask and hide my disdain, or be myself which is really a big fat bitch?

So much for...

2010-11-06T01:54:00.003+08:00

swearing off new apparel & accessories. I received a total of:
- a tube top & a dress,
- 3 pairs of earrings,
- 1 pendent,
- 2 bracelets, and
- 2 necklaces

*rolls eyes* Can I pawn them for cash?? lol. Not that I'm complaining, I really love all of them. Especially my Swarovski necklace & earrings ♥~

but...
AM I THAT BAD??! As in, do I reeeaaaalllyyy accessorize myself to the point that almost 90% of my presents are accessories!?

Then again when I went through my wardrobe table just now, I think I have 239572948 pairs of earrings. *facepalms* so maybe I AM that horrible.

♥

2010-11-01T03:32:00.001+08:00

Birthdays are days to remind you that you are blessed and loved.

2010-10-29T00:16:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, with the right people, age differences really doesn't matter.
I ♥ my juniors. They make me feel as young as they are hurhur.

I think I see the choir family more often than I see anyone else these days -_-"

sleeping early for once tonight. my entire body & soul is just dying

(21st Birthday) Wishlist

2010-10-26T01:00:00.001+08:00

as requested.

Monetary donations to my cosplay fund...
Or free photography services HAHA.

Donations to my figurines fund... basically I'm just really lacking in cash.

小鬼/黃鴻升's 1st book, 搞什麼鬼?!

Arashi 10-11 Scene concert goods - their individual posters are about $25 each.

Joops! nailpolish

Canon zoom/portrait lenses (haven't researched on this yet)

Kino vouchers

~~Final Fantasy XIV~~ hannarh hannarh no time to play lah

Sponsor a trip to Japan... or more realistically, sponsorship for a ticket to Arashi's concert (ok fine. not very realistic either considering one ticket probably costs like USD200+)

basically I'll be delighted with anything related to 小鬼/黃鴻升, Jolin/蔡依林, ARASHI/嵐, or Kim Hyun Joong;

or also anything related to K-ON!

If anyone wants to get anything from the list for meeeee, let me know ok? ;)

What I really don't need right now:

Clothing, accessories, shoes, bags, wallets... my wardrobe is about to explode. And I've REALLY sworn off shopping till Dec or next year.

2010-10-24T03:46:00.002+08:00

I don't understand how my birthday celebration became everyone else's presumption and my compromise.

This is called getting more than I asked for huh?

You know you're gaming too much when....

2010-10-22T01:56:00.003+08:00

LOL ~~even though he's an annoying slut~~ this is too funny not to post.

I'm praying that I can get the ENTIRE saturday off, then I'm gonna update on everything that I can.

oh hai december

2010-10-13T01:25:00.004+08:00

I've got a busy line up for you even though it's still 1.5 months away. Yes you're very much needed.

blog. website 1. website 2. website 3 maybe? photoshoot 1. photoshoot 2. ff12. ff13. caroling. camp. event 1. event 2. party party party.

I don't know if the 768 hours is enough.

ok stop it. my bank account is literally shrinking by the minute. all celebrities need to STOP coming to Singapore for at least another half year. xiaogui especially.

Randoms

2010-10-12T02:29:00.004+08:00

1. I'm surprisingly enjoying choir this sem. Even though all these mini-event-performances kinda suck 'cos we're all split up and practices end late sigh.

2. YES. CHOIR SUCKS OUR ENERGY AWAY. IT'S NOT 'JUST SINGING' FUCK YOU.

3. Screw Quest. I'm gonna enjoy myself on Sat w/ Liz, YL, JYJ and the whole mass of red.

4. I hate school I really do. I know my birthday wish already.

5. No, I don't want my 21st to come. Stop effing reminding me.

6. Don't be such an arrogant bitch just because you've got ____.

7. And you, don't be such a prick. This is the probably the best example of how friends don't necessarily get along in a project group.

8. It's fairfield all over again. Shit it I'm done trying. Contact me when you feel like it.

9. I will be myself. Even if that means that secondary school suicidal unsociable bitch with the worst temper in the world.

quest sucks.

2010-10-10T17:41:00.003+08:00

I'm soooooooooooooooooo pissed off at QUEST that I feel like suing them.

4. What constitutes an unfair practice under the Act?
It is an unfair practice for a trader, in relation to a consumer transaction
- to do or say anything, or omit to do or say anything, if as a result a consumer might reasonably be deceived or misled;

Yes we all got fucking deceived and misled by their change and addition of new seating. Now cat C's seating is so far back that it's not even funny at all. And screw the moshpit - the VIP tix holders are gonna be so pissed off.

- to make a false claim;

VIP seats were supposed to be sold out. How can you still be giving out free VIP tix to new purchasers? How is this even fair to the ones who rushed online at 7pm on mon night to get good seats when even better seats were to be released after that?

- to take advantage of a consumer if the trader knows or ought reasonably to know that the consumer
is not in a position to protect his own interests; or
is not reasonably able to understand the character, nature, language or effect of the transaction or any matter related to the transaction; or
to do any of the 20 unfair practices listed in the Second Schedule of the Act.

DOH. They are just making use of the fandom because we will do whatever it takes to see JYJ live, even if it means paying $100 to watching a fucking screen.

And when people starts stating ugly facts on their wall, they delete the comments and ban them.
I wrote one, people started liking it, and the next moment it got deleted and I couldn't reply to anymore comments on their wall. FUCKING INGENIOUS. Makes me love you guys even more man!

You guys win awards for a profitable business, but I think you'll fail epic-ly at management, organization and customer loyalty/retention.

=(

2010-10-10T07:01:00.005+08:00

I'm getting old. I can't seem to finish whatever I need to do before I go sleep (you know, those do-till-i-die-before-i-sleep days in poly - oh i'm so godly).

Like how I went to sleep even though I still had 3 whole freaking chapters of econs to READ (not even study can, it was just reading 'cos I didn't understand a single shit) before my mid-term test. No wonder I failed.
(but wtf i thought i got the first 4 chapters down right. i mean come'on, i read the textbook, i read a bit of the supplementary notes, i even tried the mcq. end up i forgot all the graphs and formulas and the entire paper looked so foreign to me that i cried after that. wtfknnccbgnd. it's not like stats, where i went into the exam hall knowing that i did not know a single shit, all ready to flunk my ass. this was entering the exam hall thinking i could somehow scrap through with my 4 chapters of torture but ending up falling into a black hole of despair.
and the worst part was that everyone else, or at least the amazingly-genius-friends i have, o that makes it almost everyone i know 'cos everyfuckingone in nus is just fucking intelligent, thought the paper was easy. wtfknnccbgndfmlfmlfmlfmlfml.)

And I need my sleep. nao. Screw 5% powerpoint presentations.

What happened to needing lesser sleep as you grow older??

edit: oh farrrrrrkkkkkk. i just realized i need to go school in the morning (like. nao.) to submit stupid tutorial. if it's even opened on sunday. maybe i shld skip the sleep. fmlttm.
you know i hate school so much that my nus pw consists of a 'wtf'? -_-

definitely. screwed.

2010-10-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

victor says (12:38 AM):
WTH!
oh shit la i still haven go read ISLM!
die liaoooo
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:38 AM):
cant be as bad as meeeeeeee
victor says (12:38 AM):
Y:!
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:38 AM):
eh hello. my progress is currently at chp3 only
lol
victor says (12:38 AM):
eh a word of advice
victor says (12:39 AM):
skip chapter 3 go on to 6 adn 7
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:39 AM):
=o y
victor says (12:39 AM):
he already explicitly put
topics tested : IS-LM & AS-AD
so AS-AD is a large part
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:39 AM):
ya but... if i dun even know my basics
lol gg
victor says (12:40 AM):
same la!
i also haven read chapter 3 4 5
i jump to 6 and 7
LOL
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:40 AM):
ahahaha
can understand meh!
victor says (12:40 AM):
but i read before hand liao
AHAHAHA
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:40 AM):
shit u
victor says (12:40 AM):
browsed through to do tut
u nv read through meh?
HOW U DO TUT THEN?!
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:40 AM):
i nv even listen to webcast pls
victor says (12:40 AM):
ok
Lely / YoruichiS says (12:40 AM):
WHAT TUTORIAL. DO U SEE ME IN TUTORIAL CLASS?
victor says (12:40 AM):
U ARE SCREWED

I KNOW I AM.

Macroecons is the bane of my life

2010-09-30T06:10:00.003+08:00

I don't know which is worst - stats in sem 1 or operations management in sem 2 or macro econs in sem 3.

Stats was.....wonderful. It probably had the most amazing bell curve I ever knew. I don't know how I passed while going into the exam hall with ZERO knowledge on the paper.

Operations was boring. Can't remember anything about it. I probably read some text to pass.

MACRO ECONS IS OMGWTFXROVTNREWTRSDGNVPQ.
YAH SURE. Everyone says its easier than micro econs. I THOUGHT SO TOO.
Definitely explains why I got completely lost in lecture TWO and completely gave up after that.
Also explains why I'm getting 6 questions of out 12 WRONG in my FOUNDATION supplementary notes mcq. AFTER studying and for once, actually READING THE BLARDY TEXTBOOK.

DIE LAH. How to study lecture 2, 3, 4, 5 liddat?
(YES WTF I ONLY COMPLETED LECTURE 1 AND I'M AN EPIC PHAIL ALREADY.)

2010-09-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

I HATE TUESDAYS I REALLY DO.
Especially when I'm alone with no one to bitch to.

Just got so pissed off that I escaped as fast as I could.

Some people just don't understand. Choir is my passion. My computing mods are my favourite modules.
Don't ask me to give them up just because they're 'useless'.

I fucking should have taken computing, not business.

I don't even have time to post that ~~stupid~~ recap post on XG's concert.
And stupid photobucket is not working for me AT ALL.

I'm turning into a big fat nasty bitch with everyday mood swings.

._.

2010-09-21T06:43:00.003+08:00

lol fucking gg.
my anime figurines/merchandise hobby is literally KILLING me.
i managed to save $300 from the time i came back from america.
but i think by tonight i would have officially spent a minimum of $190 to a maximum of $380.
FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

2010-09-19T03:12:00.001+08:00

赵季平作品音乐会掌声如潮

old friends good friends

2010-09-16T00:01:00.001+08:00

wtf. i can't load my photobucket pictures at all on my laptop. so i don't know how my pics turn up in my blog -_-zz

L: anyway why u so random tonight
C: RANDOM MEH?
C: if i dun look for you today... then forever dun need liao right?

It's always nice to have an old friend pop by for a chat, even if just for 5 minutes.
~~No matter how annoying they were (or still are).~~
Because these are the friends who haven't forgotten you throughout these 7-10+ years.
Because even for just one second, they can still make you laugh & smile like old times.

so that's my annoying kor from i dunno, 12 years back? he always pops out in my msn once in a blue moon (literally once in a blue blue moon) for a nonsensical chat.

this one was our previous chat in 2007. see even the msn box also so ancient one.

2010-09-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

if you ev-
she's my..
you fu-
don't make her cry.

Pretty damn pissed off

2010-09-10T00:28:00.002+08:00

at my hk sok-gong. well, or in english, one of my grand-aunty.
I know I should sympathize with her since she's old & everything, but I can't bring myself to since she's got the thickest skin possible and also since it's not like she treats me like her grand-daughter anyway.
If this was my ah-gong or other sok-gong, I'll definitely be more than happy to accommodate them.

What right does she have to come & barge in our holiday like that? Ok I get it. She's lonely. So we dropped our dinner & shopping plans to have a vegetarian dinner with her. So my mom accompanied her in the hotel room after that & I had to go shopping alone. Fine I can do that. I can do that damn well in fact. But to sleepover in our queen-sized bed (the hotel didn't allow an extra bed in our room)?? To make my mom sleep on the sofa WITHOUT any blanket?? (Well technically it was supposed to be me on the sofa 'cos she found it weird to sleep with me on the bed. Wtf you didn't pay for the room don't come telling us who to sleep where. And I'm really fine with the sofa actually but my mom's forcing me to take the other side of the bed 'cos I'm sick. So there we have my poor mom on the sofa. IT'S NOT EVEN A SOFA, IT'S A CHAIR WITH A LEG REST GODDAMNIT.) And then to impose herself on us tomorrow even when my mom dropped so many indirect hints that she shouldn't be here??

Fuck off man, seriously. I don't give a damn if you're going through depression. I don't have that much sympathy in me when you have this kind of character. (HAH. My mom told me my other grand-aunts have to TOLERATE her as well. So I'm not the only one feeling this way.)

I wanna go Japan!

2010-09-09T02:43:00.001+08:00

72 hours in Osaka

Can I change my 10am flight to Narita instead? =(

不是我不要

2010-09-07T03:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it's really not my fault.

But what can I do when my internet does selective loading for me right?